A baby seal walks into a club.

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daughter and boyfriend havin sex baby baby baby ohhh!! mum walks in; what you doin signin to justin bieber,oh ok just make sure you dont sing to his song its crap!!!!!!!

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How much cabbage is in sean's teeth? lots, like it's rotting in there

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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K O O K A B U R R A . . . . . . . . . . ReTweet

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Roses are red Violets are blue I would love you But you are too ugly and overweight

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An englishman, a scotsman and an irishman walk into a bar together. They sit down at the bar, and the barman says, "What is this, some kind of joke?!"

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What did the boy ask the ice cream man? Can I have some ice cream?

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A homophobic man walks into a bar and the bartender asks: "what can I get for ya" the man replies: "whisky."

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every cloud has a silver lining

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What did Buzz say to Woody? A lot. There were 3 movies.

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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a white man a black man and an asian man had a few drinks at a bar. they all died from alcohol poisoning

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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How do you get a baby in a bowl? You put it in.

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What did the owl say when it fell out of the tree? Nothing. Owls don't talk.

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Why couldn't the pirate enter into the movie? Because he's dead.

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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Why was the drunk person arrested? He said to a police officer "I'm gay, so shut up you b****."

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked

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Why was six afraid of seven? The world may never know.

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knock knock whos there? steve oh hi steve please come in

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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