what did the murderer say to the man... i'm going to kill you

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Do not be unreasonable now, as for the twenty five million dollars, it is the least I can do, but if we cannot agree upon acting with some reason and dignity, as refraining from insults, then no conflict will ever be solved... ...I will send you my contact information shortly, expect the money within the week, three or four days tops.

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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In class a teacher said "Stand up if you think you'r stupid" A kid stands and the teacher ask why? The kid said: "Oh I thought it'd be a bit fair since your standing up.

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Why was the Indian at the casino? He had a gambling addiction.

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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Salt: "Hi there!" Slug: "AAÀAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHHH!!!" *dies*

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What did Santa say to his elf? Nothing. Santa isn't real. Elves aren't either for that matter.

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Why did the chicken cross the road. ... It didn't.

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Ask me if I'm well Are you well? No

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

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What did the fish say when he ran into a cement wall? ....Nothing fish don't run What did the fish say when he swam into a cement wall? ...Damn

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whats the same about a donkey and a horse? They are from the same animal classification group.

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Why would Maria not have sex with Liam? Because she is Danish and doesn't shave and therefore is self-conscious

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What color do you wear if you're in the NAVY? Beige, white, sometimes camouflage - really, it depends on your rank and the situation.

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What's purple and has four legs? I don't know. What? I DONT KNOW EITHER THAT'S WHY I'M ASKING YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!

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How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

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When is a door not a door? When it is ajar.

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Why is the man's nose bleeding? Because I punched him in the nose. He looked at me funny.

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How do you get a cow off a swing? Hit it with an axe.

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the anti-joke.com joke was just like a normal joke. was the anti-joke punchline effective, artful of funny at all? no. it was a plain statement of some facts without consideration for humor. it gets old after you read like 50 of them. it gets REALLY. F*CKIN. OLD.

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you are looking on the internet someone falls over and i were shoes and chips prevent world war 2

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A male paltypus usually possesses two poisonous goads under his forelegs. Which makes him potentially more dangerous than a dragon.

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I'm going to live to be 300 years old or die trying!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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