how did the woman get her baby to stop crying? she hit him with a axe

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how do you make lady gaga cry you poke here face then rape here.

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how do you know when you've had too much to drink? . . . when you're dead.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Im Black Im Black Who Open The Door Now Pancakes Granted

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What is similar about a white person and a white fence? Mexicans jump them.

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your momma's so stupid, she starved to death in a supermarket i probably would too...considering all the good shit needs to be cooked

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja

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Why is the interesting goat so talented at chess? He's Bobby Fischer's dad.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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-Is this the Krusty Krab? -Yes, how can I help you?

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How many People does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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Why did Visellet stop eating cherries? Because she choked on a pit and died.

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Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

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what does a human and a bucket of red paint have in common? . . Both are not tigers

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What did the girl get for her birthday? the Plan B pill

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did you know helen keller had a swingset? neither did she

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Did you hear about the dyslexic atheist that doesn't believe in god? His disorder has no effect on his belief system.

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What did the white man say to the black man? Did you see the game yesterday?

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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What do you get when you cross the ocean with a dinosaur? Wet.

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Why do gingers smell so bad? So the blind can hate them too

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When life hands you lemons...you should probably get yourself checked out because life is an abstract idea...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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