A Higgs Boson walks into a church, and the priest says, "We don't allow Higgs Boson's in here," and the Higgs Boson says, "But I thought Christianity promised acceptance to everyone who believes."

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Yo' Mama's so old that her age is over the average age of most people.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i know where you live now I'm coming for you

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A Hispanic man, an African woman, and a Caucasian man walk into a bar. No one wins this round of "Racial Equality Appreciation Day's" game of limbo.

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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What do you call it when a blonde jumps off the Empire State Building without a parachute? Suicide.

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Whats red and hurts your teeth? A brick

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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What's red, white, and black, and spins around and around? A penguin in a blender

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what do chinese kids make for fathers day? shoes

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what does the muslim guy say in a very busy metro station? jaallalalalalalalalla BAM

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Why did the train stop? - It was surrounded by elephants

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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What do you call a jew in an oven? A safety hazard

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Why was the mushroom invited to the party? Because the party was a rave and some mushrooms are know to make the consumer of them hallucinate wildly.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops