Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If Beauty Exits ... The Heck Are You?

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

How long did it take Jeff, a middle-aged man with a lifelong speech-destroying lisp, to overcome his impediment? Less than ten minutes, as carbon monoxide is a colorless, odorless toxic gas that eliminates oxygen at a rapidly-acting rate inside of small areas such as the car Jeff locked himself inside.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

A russian gives away vodka.

Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

Knock Knock Dude there is no door

What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he knew that the neighbors wouldn't "touch him there"

why did the kid stop eating his breakfast...two Penn state officials knocked at the door

I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

Knock, knock. Who's there? ...

Person 1: have you ever seen Helen Kellers house? Person 2: No i havent Person 1: Neither did she

What happen to the man who got drunk and passed out behind the wheel? He crashed into a tree, his car caught fire and then he got incinerated.

I will slam your FACE into the BOOK if you don't stay out of MY SPACE

what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

knock, knock Who's there? Statefarm... and we are always gonna be there for you

Where does the Queen of England live? England.

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

Hitler has a certain "genocide-quaw" about him

So, same time tomorrow then?

One day there was 2 black guys in hoodys with knives in there hand. They tapped me on the shoulder and took my groceries. They then made me a jam sandwich and went on there way

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...