Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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what do you call a black man wearing a makeup? A clown

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once. Seven. Seven girlfriends. All across America.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a gun, get in the van.

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What's worse than 10 babies in a trashcan? One baby in 10 trashcans.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

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there once was a man from Nantucket. I want to ride in a helicopter.

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What's green and says I'm a frog? A talking frog

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Its behind you like if you looked behind

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What did the southern uncle say to his nephew when he woke up? Good morning, son.

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Where did Suzie go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A mass murderer ran into a bar full of people. He first shot a man. What did the man say when the murderer shot him? Nothing, he was hit in the head and instantly died before he could say anything.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a sandwhich... I dont rape my sandwhiches before i eat them

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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Colloqiual irregularities are a significant part of the English language, and excellent example of this is between can and may.

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Roses are red Violets are blue. most poems rhyme but this one doesn't!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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