Knock Knock Who's There? Dave Dave, who? Jerry, just let me in already Two months later, Dave was convicted on charges of home invasion and the murder of Jerry Jones without bail.

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I like my coffee like I like my slaves... Free

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whats hard long and you put it in your mouth everyday a toothbrush

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What's worse than walking into a door by accident? Finding out that your mother molestors children.

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How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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What do call a black politician? Not Barack Obama, unless it's Barack Obama

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? It fell.

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whats in a red suit with a white beard and jolly......st.nick jerking of and blowwing a load in your stocking while taking a shit on you coffee table before theen hanging it back up over the fire place

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A guy wearing a top hat walks into a bar. He says, "Ow."

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, but I don't know how they got in there.

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Q: Why was the little girl upset? A: Because she drank a window cleanser, causing her vital organs to shut down, ending in a slow, painful, death.

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When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. Well, that's going to be some horrible lemonade if life doesn't also give you water and sugar.

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Where's my tractor?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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Why did the old man cry? Because he had just witnessed his wife die.

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What's worse than a spray tan? - A spray tan of hydrochloric acid.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a mexican? The skin pigmentation and most likely the size of their penis

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What do you call a man who burns his country's flag on it's independence day? Unpatriotic

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A woman becomes pregnant. 9 months later she has a baby.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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