hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? "Are you okay? Here, let me take you to the hospital." The woman is now healing nicely.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Q: Whats the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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Wow, that is one of the things I would think I would react all bad to, but that`s, a strangely attractive quality in you.

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Two men are talking: Bob: "Do you like fishsticks?" Joe: "Yes I do." Bob: "Your a gay fish."

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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Why did the Jewish cross the road? He didn't he died in Holocaust.

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Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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Why was the boy sad? I don't know, what do think I am? An umbrella? Why would you even think FOR A MOMENT that it's OK to just ASK me random stuff? Do you have ANY IDEA who I am?! I'm your worst nightmare, and if you ever ask me ANYTHING without permission again, or so help me I will drown the nearest pet goldfish. P.S. His cat died.

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If I could Rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and Q together.

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What is black and blue and red all over? My wife.

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If roses weren't RED and violets weren't Blue... Walls are still solid objects.

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Roses are red. They also have thorns. Their family is Rosaceae and they are often given as gifts between lovers. They grow in well drained and fertile soils...

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Oh, no! There is a ginger jew within 2 meters of me!

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what did katness save her Life? because peter hates her and katness is peaches and peter dies in the titanic because it is gay shut up becky

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What's worse than getting no up-votes on an anti-joke? Getting down votes

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Teacher: What is 1+1? Student: 2 Teacher: Next time raise your hand before answering a question.

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A 16 year old boy and girl have unprotected sex. The girl becomes pregnant and decides to keep the baby. They both drop out of high school, get lots of government cheese, and the boy holds a steady job as manager at the local mcdonalds for the rest of his life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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