What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

thumb_up thumb_down -23

who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So a bar walks into a man...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Whats worse than stubbing your toe? Sandy hook

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What would happen if you insulted Chuck Norris' mother? Considering you did it on a messageboard that only unemployed people with no social lives use, nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's worse than failing a test Drowning

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

united we sit, cause we're fat

thumb_up thumb_down -23

a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

thumb_up thumb_down -23

why should not women able to vote? because their stupid and should not vote at all

thumb_up thumb_down -23

I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What's the difference between car keys and truck keys? Literally nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops