Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender can you throw me a beer and the bartender says yes and he throws him the beer and the man says I can't catch I have the smallest hands in the world and the bartender says go across the street there is a guineas book of world record store an check if you h e the smallest hands and he does so the next day he goes back and asks for another beer and the bartender throws him a beer and say I cant catch cause I have the smallest feet in the world and he goes across the street and checks and he does and then the third day he goes back to the bar and asks for a beer and the bartendor throws him another beer and says I can't catch I have the smallest penis in the world so he goes to the guiness book o world record store and then goes bac to the bar and asks..... Who's austin bell?????

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GOODBYE

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Assuming the fact that these children are in fact deceased, it would be highly inprobable that they could perform any task. Or that they would need to see any light at all, since the point of that dark room is to keep them concealed.

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Listen, I cannot as much as I would like, to take the full responsibility for every decision my former followers might decide to make of their own, we are no religion nor do we follow any kind of doctrines, we encourage freedom but also respect for our fellow human beings, all of them regardless of race or affiliation. But you let me know whoever has as much as looked at you the wrong way, and I will make sure they no longer find themselves welcome within my order, nor anywhere else if their actions merit the firm hands of justice.

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Why didn't cancer cross the road? Because it was to busy taking my family.

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Q: Why did Steve fall out of the tree A: He was raking the leaves

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Why couldn't the prostitute give a proper blow job..... She had no lips

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why did the guy round second base? to get to 3rd

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How do you confuse a black man? Call him from a blocked number and I say "I love you"

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what is blue and smells like fish? blue fish ;)

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Lol XD,now that is bad ass of you to say that, what about her, does she get to go around too?

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Why did lisa fall of her bike? Because her dad threw a refrigerator at her. -JCB

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car, Robin.

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Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

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A black man walks up to a white man with a shaved head and boots in a bar He then hands him a ten dollar bill and tells him he dropped it

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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What's the difference between a picnic table and a Mexican? A picnic table can support a family of four.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You just died, and I'm laughing at you and your extremely ugly face.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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