Lindsay Lohan

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Knock knock. "Who's there?" "It's Mr. Johnson, your next door neighbor." "Come on in."

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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what happened when the boy jumped? he landed

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. And that's when I found out my Uncle Ted was a cross-dresser.

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How do you put your babysitter in jail? Kill your kid on her shift.

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2 gays monkeys walk into a bar.........

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Hey Johnny what's after 2?? 3.

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roses are red violets are blue I lost my dog to typhoid it was an unfortunate case of bed luck

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Violets are actually purple or white

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Why don't flowers bite you when you pick them? Cuz they don't have a brain.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a swimming pool? Determined.

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what's black, white and doesn't float? the titanic

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

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What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy?

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why did the black man go to court he was a lawyer it's is job

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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What do you call a Man who likes little childeren A Nittany Lion.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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