A blond and his wife were in the hospital expecting their first child together. The wife gives birth to twins and the husband turns to her and says, "I can't believe we had twins. I'm so happy!"

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Why did the squirrel cross the road? it was stapled to the chicken

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Why does Suzie like to wear sunglasses? Because she's blind.

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If a canoe is stuck in a tree with its headlights on, howmany pancakes does it take to cover the roof of my house? False, snakes don't have armpits!

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Justin Bieber's gay!! My butt is sexier!(;

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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How many black people does it take to solve a complex physics equation? Trick question

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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No antijoke here.

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That awkward moment when you have to tell your child you wanted an abortion, and still wish you had.

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What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

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Moose A: What do you call a moose with diapers on its head? Moose B: Me.

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How do you get 100 Jews into a Volkswagon? You don't. It's impossible to fit that many people into a car that small.

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Q: what do you call a camel with a garbage bag on its head? A: A ziploc baggie

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Why was Jenny alone? Everyone else had died in a zombie apocalypse.

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Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because that's where it wanted to go.

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GOODBYE

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What did the fridge say to the watermelon? Nothing.

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What happens when you mix bleach and ammonia? You eventually die of respiratory failure from inhaling chlorine gas and possibly an exploding toilet.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? As a matter of fact, I do. It goes: "Do I know any jokes about sodium hypobromite? NaBrO."

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What happens when you cut a body in half? An erection.

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Why did the sloth cross the road? To slaughter your entire family.

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A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops