Two cats are sat on a window ledge. One cat looks to the other and says "Meoww".

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(To the pretty girl at the bar) "Was your father a thief? Because I really would like to have sexual intercourse with you."

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your mummas so ugley that it looks like it court fire and your family put it out with forkes

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was Gnrwhaf

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Your momma's so fat that she should really be concerned for her health and seek professional help to manage her weight.

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Why was little Bobby Smith crying on Christmas day? Because the doctor diagnosed him with terminal cancer.

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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Q: what's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon A: well the first noticable difference is that the watermelon tastes better.

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Why is Helen Keller Blind and Deaf? Because she can't drive!... oh no wait I screwed that up.

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Why has there never been a Mexican on the moon? Because Mexico's government funding for their space program is insufficient to take them all the way to the moon.

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Patrick, I just thought of something funnier than 24. Lemme hear it. 25.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

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A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

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whats brown and has a head? A: my penis

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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Knock knock come in.

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i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

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what do you call two arabs flying a plane? a pilot and a co-pilot

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house? Neither has he.

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What did Wonder Woman say to Superman? I'm wonder woman.

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Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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