Knock know! Who's there? Aids! Aids who? Aids! Aids who? Orange! Orange who? Orange you glad I'm not aids!

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What's brown and slimy? brown slime

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? She didn't have arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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What's brown and rhymes with poop? Dr. Dre.

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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I brought a parachute as carry on luggage, I was pulled aside at security and missed my flight.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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How many psychiatrists does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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Chuck Norris gets punched in the face.

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how many cody's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? impossible he so stupid!!!

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Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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A stoner walks into a bar. A few minutes later he is asked to leave by the bartender because he is disruptive and uncoordinated. The stoner leaves because conflict is not in his nature.

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What's big, white, and kills you if it falls out of a tree. A Fridge

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Why did the soccer player miss practice? He got shot in the face.

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Why was the guy not asleep Because he was awake

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What's black and white and red all over? The color spectrum. Along with other colors.

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Why am I telling you this joke? Because I entered the following, agreed to the Terms of Service, and clicked "submit".

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

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The Dane, the Norwegian and the Chinese where on a plane, and as the plane was malfunctioning, the pilot would shout: "We are overloaded! Toss out everything you can spare!" The Dane tossed out a box of Danish Salami, explaining they had enough of those in his country. The Norwegian tossed out a package of sweaters, explaining that they had enough of those in his country. Suddenly the Chinese jumped out without a given explanation, as time passed though, the surviving crew arrived to some conclusions... Moral: R.I.P Kim the 294834839483948th

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Pilot: We need to lighten the load of this plane Italian: I'll throw out these pizzas, there are too many of them in my country Mexican: I will throw out these tacos, there are just too many of them in my country The american stares in horror at the two men, the pizza and tacos were their only food and they were lost in the Himalayas.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q:Whats the difference between Jews and Pizza? A: Jewish people are humans, and pizza is a food

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What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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