How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb? Depends on how big the lightbulb is

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Why did a black man put his hands on a white man? They were hugging.

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So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

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What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

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why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

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Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

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This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

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Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coast of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

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what has four legs but cant walk? a dog after anal

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Ludwig van Beethoven, John Coltrane, John Lennon, and Justin Bieber are out for lunch at a taco stand. The owner calls the police, and Justin Bieber is arrested for digging up corpses.

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your mother is so fat that I am concerned that her health is at stake and she may develop diabetes and heart disease

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Whats the difference between a giraffe and an elephant. Ones a giraffe and ones and elephant

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Chuck Norris got his ass kicked. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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what do you do when mrs curaba gets heated through a fridge at her so she can cool down

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first koala.

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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Whats funny about alexis? she's really a boy!

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What happened to the chicken that crossed the road? It got ran over by a car!

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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A duck walks into a bar. the manager kicks him out considering animals are not allowed in the bar.

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What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

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What do you call a man with no legs, arms, or a head? A torso.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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