Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? When he first entered the world, Chicken was a lonely bird. Nobody else liked him. Not even his mother. He was small and scrawny, and whenever the farmer came to feed the pigs or shear the sheep, he would get scared and hide in between two pieces of wood. One day Chicken woke up and his family was gone. Although they had never loved him, his heart was tender, and he was desperately concerned for them. After hours of searching for them, he overheard Cow speaking to Horse: "It's a tragedy, really. They were such a happy family. But now their off to the land of KFC, forever lost in the sea of chicken wings. But Chicken was determined to change his family's fate. He escaped the barn and ran into the woods. There he traveled day by day, and at night he hid from the hungry wolves. Life in the forest was tough, but no tougher than the loss of loved ones, so he kept going. On and on and on, until the forest ended and the city began. It was a new world to Chicken. He had never seen so many different buildings and contraptions. His eyes had never before held the wonder of the majesty of such a strange place. After traveling through the dangerous alleys of the city, he finally found it: the terrible land of KFC. The place where humans' dreams begin, but chickens' end. The place of horror and death and unfairness. The place that summarized Chicken's whole life. He was here now. The only thing separating him from his family was a road. A road that was so small compared to his previous trials, so incomprehensibly tiny when placed next to the gaping hole in his broken heart. So the chicken crossed the road. Then he got hit by a bus.

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An elderly lady walks into a grocery store, and nothing of a great significance happens.

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What happened to the fish? It drowned

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A man walks into a bar. He I then taken to the hospital for a major head injury.

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What's worse then 10 babies nailed to 10 trees? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees

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What do you call a joke that isnt funny? This one.

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Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

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Yo momma so stupid, she's stupider than this joke.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cock in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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So I want to write an Anti-Joke, so I go to the write your own tab and see in the security code box: Which one is a country- fried rice or fried chicken. C'mon, it's definitely fried rice.

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your mom is so ugly that she is still a virgin, you don't exist you are just a figment of my imagination.

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Q: Why is grass green? A: I painted it.

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wioFUrwny1c

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An anti joke a day... really doesn't actually do that much

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Have you ever treat woman like sandwich? Elephant and walrus said Jews are troubles. If six plus nine is five, chickens will eat you, saturdays.

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What do you call a black person who was in the U.S. army and survived WWII? A veteran, considering he fought a war and is still alive.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I tryed to hang myself But my neck qad to fat

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What happens when you spend far too much money in a gambling machine during a solar eclipse on a leap year? You get poor.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry Show me your tits

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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