Why did Billy fall over? Because someone tripped him.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. You honstly thought i would cry over you? Well guess what player, You just got played too!

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Roses are red vielots are blue but they aren't as sweet as you.Can you be my Valentine ny choclate cupcake will you me my choclate

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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-funny? women have rights -funnier? civil rights

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Whats red but smells like blue paint? Red paint

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guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

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What's big, white, and kills niiggers? Hurricane sandy

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what did the nostalgic robot barber say to all of his customers before cutting their hair? 0010101000011100101000100100100110101010100101010101010

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What did the meteorologist say when there was tornado? There is a tornado 7 miles West of the station.

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A car walked into a bar... wait no it didn't it has wheels.

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why did the chicken cross the road because he wanted to get to chicken to have safe sex

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Why did the girl fall of the swings? Because she has no arms.

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Oooh. That fish smells delicious.

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A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

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How do you confuse a blonde?? Throw her in a circle room and tell her to find all the corners If she comes out and says I found the corners.. then your screwed

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WHATS BROWN AND SMELLS LIKE CRAP!?!?!?!?!?!?!? crap

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What did the orange say to the apple? “To be sentient is truly unbearable without sexual organs.”

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a wanted serial killer on the run from the police

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A man walks into a bar holding a magic lamp. The bartender asks "what are you holding?" The man says "It's a magic lamp." The bartender looks at the man and scratches his head. It turns out the bartender has had a problem with lice in his hair. If you believe in a magic genie is going to grant any wishes you're reading the wrong story. Anyways, the bartender buys medicated shampoo and no longer has head lice. The guy with the magic lamp was totally worthless.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? The woodchuck's ability to chuck has been left indeterminable. Therefore until the wood chuck's prowess in wood chucking is brought to light we must leave it a variable. Using the coefficient (L) to represent wood that can possibly be chucked. Then using (C) to represent the life cycle of said wood chuck chucking. We are also assuming this woodchuck will remain vigilante and not require food or sleep for the entire duration of chucking ultimately lowering is maximum chucking output. From this we can determine the W.C.P.S. (wood chucks per second). Finally subtract the remaining wood (RW) from the chucked total and we have rendered that : L(W.C.P.S) - (C -RM/t) = X

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a passing car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops