frogs are green and grass is greener i just blew up ur mom and ur the cleaner now get to work SLAVE

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all on a deserted island with no food or water. The redhead decides to try and swim to safety, but after a few hours of swimming she becomes to tired to carry on and drowns. After knowing their friend died, the two other women decide that swimming is not a viable option for rescue, so they decide to stay on the island. A few days later a search party rescues them.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I chucked a shit and flushed the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You dork, seriously, the comment where I mentioned that I am married is like 60000 comments PAGES behind. What? Now you ashamed of losing your, I mean I can say that I am your first right? That I am going to stick my MANFLESH into your CHERRY AND POP IT RIGHT? JUST TRYING TO BE SUBTLE HERE! Seriously though, Your name is really Tifa? And you look a FUCKING HELL A LOT Like Tifa From Final Fantasy... You know, except she has gigantic feet and no lips and you know...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Trust me, you are that kind of girl, and no, you are not nerdy, you are open and down to ground, while your beautiful exterior means a lot to me (I am a man, its the way I am), I would never have wanted to talk to you or even less visit you with a pack (make it five packs) of condoms, if you where the awkward Asperger kind of gal, so how old are you, like seriously?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

two men where hunting one man shot a deer and ate it, the other man shot the man who killed the deer and made human steaks. a day later he killed his family. and ate them with his dog. he then grabbed the deer that was left in his fridge and used it to make a fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q:What is usually pink, brown or black, usually big and comes out smaller, which goes in and out of your mothers mouth? A: Could be lots of things really... Moral: But we all know what you imagined you sick bastard!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the grape say when the elephant sat on it? Nothing, scientific research has shown over thousands of years that grapes cannot talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have schizophrenic, and don't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock Knock. Who's there? Guitar. Guitar who? Violin.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you get when you cross a road with a car? Severe injuries or even death.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the pig cross the road? To chase after his adopted chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Sure, I was not born yesterday, sounds serious, what is it?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happend to the dude who couldnt fart He blew up

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What looks like mud, smells like mud and eats mud? An African

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the guy have one shoe? Because he took one shoe off at a time

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You in love with me? Like platonic? Fine, we will move operations elsewhere, you really got to tell me who you are working for someday.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What is terrible and doesn't exist? This joke's punchline,

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's better than winning a gold metal at the special olympics? not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops