Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Where am I

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue You don't want to be my valintine I'm going to shoot myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Steve: Ask me if I'm a tree. John: Are you a tree? Steve: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A seal walks into a club. And proceeds to die. Why? The seal isn't able to walk so it was crawling and a man was swinging a club to it's head, so it perished and he could feed his family. The Statement was censored by the FCC

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Women. One of the genders a human can be.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

This is hypothetical remember, just examples with no roots in real life events. The problem with your former employee, was that he would easily have played the victim, certain organizations would have paid him a fortune for the intel he had collected, and surely also agreed to let him walk away, and get you and your small (relatively) crack team death penalty on the spot, just like the underground, you would have been branded terrorists simply because certain people would have earned billions by doing so. The wizard would most likely have gone free, as long as he shared every tiny bit of info, then the cops, the feds, would have blamed it all on you for being his supervisor, you would not have survived the ordeal, trust me.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What smells like diarrhea and looks like poop? A rotten banana.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

if your mother was put in a situation where she could either have sex with a man or a woman she would pick the woman

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: Where is the One Piece? A: My girlfriend is wearing it.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why did the man shoot himself in the foot? because he didnt have the safety on and he had no gun handling skills.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Whats not funny and no one wants to waste the time to reading it? This joke

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did Osama Bin Laden say to his barber? ????? ??? ?????? ??? ?????, which, in their native language means, I would like to get a haircut.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So a black man steals a bike Because it was unlocked, and that was just poor planning.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Vancouver Canucks Hater: What time is? Another Vancouver Canucks Hater: 6 past Luongo

thumb_up thumb_down -25

roses are red violets are blue bullets are lead now i shoot you

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Your momma so fat.... She's at risk of cardiovascular disease. You should take her to a nutritionist.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the disabled kid do on friday? He fell down a flight of stairs.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the German say to the Rabbi? Hello. The German was also Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops