what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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What is the difference between being a serial killer and a doctor? I'm not a doctor.

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how many babies does it take to paint a wall? it depends on how hard you throw 'em.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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whats the difference between me and callum ? one soul.

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Why did the white girl become a lesbian? Because she was raped and had no more trust in the male gender.

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What's black and white and red all over? A butler with a stab wound.

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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How did the black man survive the Train crash? He didnt, he died liked everyone else

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Hey i just raped you and this is crazy so delete my number and keep the baby

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why didn't the boy go to school because he died last night

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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who do we all like george goodburn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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