knock knock whos there? police police who? police your house is on fire and your kid just died from broncitisand i just farted and u get a tickit because u answered the door naked

What was going through the minds of the Sandy Hook victims? Bullets.

Well You're Full Of It . -Full Of What ? Well , Probably Blood And Other Organs You Can't Live Without . .

what is chuck norris's favorite food? lasagna.

A German challenged an Englishman to a duel But their neigbours found out and alerted the police

Q. How many men did it take to build a wall? A. None, the wall is already built.

Q: Why should you never let Jerry Sandusky babysit your children? A: Because, in November of 2011, Sandusky was arrested and charged with 40 counts of sexual abuse of young boys over a 15-year period. A man with this type of background does not seem like a an ideal choice for a babysitter.

A man found a magic lamp. He rubbed it and a genie emerged from the lamp. The genie asked what his new master's wishes were. The man wished for asthma.

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

Why didn't the Alzheimers patient put on her shoes? She didn't leave the elderly home that day, thus taking away the need to put on shoes.

It's okay, I got the yogurt.

What did the duck say to the pickle? Quack

I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

How does a boy with no arms or legs cross the street? He doesn't

Q: Wgat do you call a black man's dead bodie? A: A corpse.

Biggest lie in America: Sorry, that was my last stick of gum.

Two drunk drivers got in a car crash They both died

How many women does it take to ski across the pit of lava? None, they would burn and die.

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

A cat starts grooming itself How many sprinkles does it take to cover the moon Cabinet because whales live in water

Face...tastes like chicken!

Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

Q: What's green and goes round and round and round? A: A baby on a blender

A duck walks into a bar and buys a drink. When the bartender comes up he says put it on my bill

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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