Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It probably saw an animal that it wanted to chase, or a person carrying food, or another dog that it wanted to make friends with.

A man walks into a bar. The force of the impact causes serious head trauma and kills him within a matter of minutes.

What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

What did the tree say to the plant. Nothing tree's cant talk.

What's racecar spelled backwards? Jesus.

A guy walks into a bar and laughs. Later, a green, homosexual dinosaur dentist escorts him out to play a houdini banjo.

You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

Q: A giraffe fell in a hole and died. Which was taller the Lion or Giraffe? A: The Giraffe was before it died

There is a blonde, Santa and Jesus. Someone throws a million dollars on the ground who picks it up? Me because I shot them

A duck walks into a bar and is immediately shot to prevent the spread of bird flu.

Whta's the difrence betwen a goat and a hors? The goat goed too eet the hors thre day ago!

Why was six afraid of seven? 7 is greater than 6. Didn't you learn about number lines in 3rd grade?

Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

What happened when rudolf bucked Santa? Santa ripped his hooves off and started hitting his nose until it stopped glowing

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

Coke or Pepsi? Trick question, beer.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has Stevie Wonder.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

Q: What do you say to a person in a wheelchair who fall downs the stairs? A: Nothing because most likely they would take an elevator.

How many TV shows are there? A lot.

I like playing in the balls. I like balls.

What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

Why does everybody look at the foreign boy strangely? Because he was ugly

Your mother is so morbidly obese that she greatly exceeds the necessary recommended serving sizes of each meal.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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