Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

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What's big and white and can't climb trees? A mattress

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Microwaveable jellied horse nipple

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2 bald men are standing on an oval, one turns to the other and says "leukemia."

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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Just the other day there was a house, and unforunatly Bob was a burn victim, the doctors said that he would have had a slow and excruciatingly painful death... Luckily he was already dead!

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THE GAME.

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What does mickee say to other animals. Mouse

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take away his glass of water.

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Why was the black man pulled over? Racism still lingers in today's society.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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How do you make a mailman cry? Kill his family.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' The horse says 'My alcoholism is destroying my family.'

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Whats the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? The Porsche isn't in my garage

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What do you call a plane in shining armor? A knight flight.

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What's worse than having to tie one of your shoelaces after walking 5 miles? Getting a 56 year old mixture of blood, urine and sperm injected in your asshole.

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A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are all stuck on a desert island together. They eventually succumb to dehydration and heat exhaustion. They lasted five days.

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How's the weather? Good.

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“Ok, time for bed” … is what I said to the empty living-room. It was getting late, and the internet no longer amused me. I picked up my cell phone, rooted through the couch cushions until I located the remote, and turned off the television that had been nothing but background noise for the last few hours. I made sure the front and back doors were securely locked, walked around the back of the couch, and turned off the only light. A tap on the screen of my phone created just enough light to keep from busting a toe on an errant table leg. Because my cats have an evil tendency to lie in the middle of the hallway, I aimed the small amount of light from my phone directly in front of my tired and shuffling feet. I’d only covered a small distance before I knew, from many nights of this same regimen, that I was getting close to the bedroom door. At this point my arm started the slow upward arc that would eventually illuminate the now pitch-black opening to the comfort of my room. The light emanating from my cell was quite dim, and this action had become quite rote, so my arc was about waist level before I noticed a slight variation of the familiar black of the open doorway. At that point, and in a disturbingly short amount of time, five things happened nearly simultaneously: My arm, the arm carrying the phone, continued to rise in its predetermined arc, having been an object in motion which would stay in motion. I released a small gasp and exclaimed to my husband that his sudden appearance in the dark had startled the breath from me. I remembered that my husband was at work. The light arc reached its apex on a face of protruding nail-like teeth. A face suspiciously bereft of eyes, with a gaping, oozing, bloody pit where a nose should have been. The light went out.

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Knock Knock ... Knock Knock The man proceeds to leave.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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