VITAMIN C!

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"Sticks and stones" the man said and shat on three different complex turtles

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How do you eat a candy cane? Shove it in your mouth and chew.

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Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

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How do you make a drug dealer cry? Just say no

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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How hot was the blonde considering she was in Africa for the first time and it was 103 degrees, very

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What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a screaming goat

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Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

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whats worse then getting sat on by a hippo getting sat on by Matt Ross

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What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he won't come.

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Why did Timmy lose the race? He had no legs

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A man loses his wife in a car accident He then fall into a deep depression then hangs himself.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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A black man walks into a bar and he orders a margarita. The bartender says that the margaritas are exceptionally delicious in this bar. He was right.

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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What has two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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A man walked into a bar. He was meeting his friends but was 30 minutes early so he went down the road to buy some food. He had recently began dieting after watching a series of lifestyle programs which informed him of the potential risks involved with high cholesterol and blood pressure levels. He purchased a garden salad and a freshly squeezed orange juice, and made it back to the bar in time to meet his friends.

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A little blind girl goes up to her mum and says, "Mummy, mummy, when will I be able to see?" Her mum replies "I'll tell you what, I'll take you to the chemist and get you some special cream for your eyes and you will be able to see in the morning." So off they went to the chemist, got the cream, and went home, all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited at the prospect of being able to see again. Once they got home, the mother put the cream on the little girls eyes, wrapped a bandage around her head, and took her to bed. The following morning the little girl stumbled into her mums bedroom and excitedly shouted "Quick mummy, take off the bandage so that i will be able to see again." So the mother slowly took of all the bandages, taking her time, and all the while the little girl was getting more and more excited. Once they were off the little girl said "But mummy, I still can't see." To which the mother replied, "April fool!"

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To blow up a train

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I used to know what alzheimers was

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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