What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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How does a black man laugh? He schuckles

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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Q:Why did Hitler lose World War II? A:His "gas" bill.

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Screw! Screw who? Screw you.

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Hello, this is Chuck Norris speaking.

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Straight man: Gays can't have babies so they shouldn't be allowed to have sex. Gay man: But you got a vasectomy last year, so you can't make babies either. The straight man sees the irony, realizes how judgmental he has been and never has sex again because he maintains his opinion that gays shouldn't have sex.

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What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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What made Qtip's so dangerous? Q-tip's music

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What did the banana say to the tree? Nothing, bananas can't talk

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why did the girl like dick? Because Dick was a nice boy.

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Two penguins walk are in the bathtub and says "can you pass me the soap?" the other one looks at him quite quarly and says "what do you think i am, a chainsaw?!?"

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Why did the shark eat the girl? Because she was ugly

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Why did we invade Afghanistan? Because we hate arabs.

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A car walks into a bar.

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Your momma is so stupid your momma forgot that jesus did exist and has been proven by historians to have existed

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his failing marriage.

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What's worse than biting into a worm in your apple? Being run over by a stampede of elephants

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Why don't nuns wear bras? Because god supports everything!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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