Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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Why did the kid hide under the table? There was an earthquake.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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Or something... Volume one. What do you do if you are in the jungle and get confronted by one jaguar to your left, and one tiger at the right and got only one bullet left in your gun? You shoot the Jaguar and drive home in the tiger.

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Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Q: why did the boy fall down when he was walking home? A: he was murdered.

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What do a plum and a rabbit have in common? They're both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Three men walk into a bar. Something happens not at relating to them.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

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Want to hear a popular joke? Women's Rights

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What made Chuck Norris cry? Stubbing his toe

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What did the man say to the prostitute? Can I pay you to come with me to a cheap motel and partake in sexual intercourse with me?

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.

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What do you get when you cross Jesus with James Woods? Crucifixion

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What do a bike and a human have in common they are both objects

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A black man is escorted into a prison. He's the new warden, and he's been shown to his office.

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How come grilled cheese?

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Q: Why are elephants afraid of mice and/or rats? A: Elephants tend to have bad eyesight and startle quite easily?

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What has four legs and rocks? Your baby kitten that just got stoned to death.

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G:nock nock B:come in!

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why couldn't she get up? Because she had no legs.

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What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops