Doctor, Doctor I think your gay. thats because i am

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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Why do sea guls fly over the sea? In order to get from place to place, flying is much faster than walking. Sea guls live on a diet of salt-water fish, and the ocean is where their main food supply subsides.

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why navy seals ? they shot osoma bin laden in the face...... multiple times

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Why did the young boy drop his bus. He was hit by an ice cream.

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my girlfriend had a weird fetish, she used to dress up like herself and act like a bitch all the time.

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so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

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Why did the pied piper eat tea half past three? Because the chicken tripped on the way across the street and the fat lady didn't sing.

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Three mexicans walk into a bathroom they all had to go pee.

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Tic tac toe Your mother and I are getting a divorce.

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead."

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Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

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If Miley Cyrus has the ability to come in like a wrecking ball, how come she can't twerk?

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Q. Pete and Repeat were sitting on a wall. Repeat fell off. Which one was left? A. Pete. Yep.

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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What do you call a window you can see throu? A window.

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Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory? For throwing away all the W's

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby? I take my cleats off when I jump on the trampoline

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 went to a house party. 7 was there. 7 and 6 kind of new each other. They went to the same school, but weren`t really friends. All night 7 was giving 6 strange looks. 6 started feeling uneasy, so he left the party early. When 6 got in his car 7 was inside waiting for him and pulled out a gun. Luckily 6 got away from 7 safely, but has been scared of him ever since.

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There are too many people in this bar, a man says. He then walks out of the bar and proceeds to visit his grandmother. Orange.

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What's slow and spotted? A cheetah, I lied about the slow part

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What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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