How do you make a little boy cry? You rape his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Decode this; Hetay owcay aidsay oomay. Answer: ummmmm.... Let me think....ummm, does anybody speak pig latin?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man walks into a bar. He is then taken to the hospital for his concussion, seeing as the bar was made of metal

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If Chuck Norris has $5 and you have $5 then all together you have $10. It was announced that the obverse portrait of Alexander Hamiliton would be replaced by the portrait of an undecided woman, starting in the year 2020. If you wait long enough, you can exchange the $10 for the new $10 bill.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the man staple his own scrotum to his left thigh? He didn't. His friends did.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the black basketball player say to the white basketball player when he lost? Good game.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is Jordan Abu Arabian ? Because his mom is!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a black guy running from the cops? Nothing. He was out for his morning jog and he happened to run by the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the little boy leave his bike on the side of the road? He was kidnapped and his body was found 2 weeks later at Penn State

thumb_up thumb_down -11

say sopha king together then sat funny at the end

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why couldn't people tell the difference between the two twins? Because they were indentical.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand and says to the man running the stand. QUACK!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's the difference between a vampire and a lawyer? A: A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops