A. Knock, Knock B. Come in

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Hey how is your wife and my kids

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What do you do when your baby won't stop crying. Slit its throat

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What is a holocaust victim's favorite food? Nothing.

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Why did the old lady walk across the road? She was on her way to the convenience store on the other side.

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What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

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There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

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Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

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What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: So it could get hit by a car, to prove that chickens have free will, and have every right to cross a road without any particualar reason.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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what happened to the man who walked into a bar he slipped from the bar of soap and died

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Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

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whats one plus one penis

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Why did Larry the Cable Guy say "Git R Dun"? Because he thought it was funny, and so did a bunch of other people for some reason.

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Two nerds walk into a bar. The effects of alcohol do not discriminate based upon the social status of said consumer.

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What is blue and has clouds in it? The sky.

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TWIX PAUSE!

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Your mom is so fat, she had liposuction.

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What can eat, sleep, and reproduce? Not a rock, that's for sure.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? An episode of 'Friends'.

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"Why is Barney purple and green?" "Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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