What did the Jewish man say when he answered the phone? Hello?

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What do you do when you see an ostrich playing tennis? I don't know as I have little experience in the areas of ostriches or tennis. Frankly, I'm not quite sure why you're even asking me

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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How to find if your overweight? Ask your friend to make a big clay volcano, out of baking soda and vinegar. While its erupting if you're too busy eatin five course dinner. FAT

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The only time when white and black are together When I've just taken a shit! ?ttis

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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Why did twenty mexicans run down a hill? There was a marathon in the area.

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What do and Asian and an orange have in common? They are both complex, carbon based life forms living on the only world in the universe known to harbor life.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't, he died in the middle of this task.

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1.Roses Are Gray, Violets Are Gray. I Am A Dog. Can I Eat Your Leg? 2.What Did The Sandwiches Say To The Grilled Cheese? Nothing. Sandwiches Can't Talk Due to The Lack Of Organs.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Rebecca Black decided to sit in the front.

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Q. What did the wierd kid get for christmas A. A Pokemon diamond edition

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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Why can't Abraham Lincoln tell a lie? Because he's dead.

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how do you wake up lady gaga? set her alarm for a reasonable hour

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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What's pink and shaped like a V? A pink V.

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Vegeta, What does the scouter say about his power level? It's Over 9000!!!!!

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It's not gay until eyes meet or tips touch.

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What did the mentally challenged kid get on his test? Drool

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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Q: why didn't johnny do his homework? A:because johnny is dead

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What's green and runs through the forest? - A pack of cucumbers. What's wrong with that? - Cucumbers aren't pack animals.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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