Penis.

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what do you call Mackenzie Phillips? five head

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family

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Apparently I'm an unfit father, cuz all I know is dope and all I got is 30 dollas

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What did the orphan get for his birthday? Shit on.

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Q: what is white and can't climb trees? A: A refrigerator

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if 5+5=10 then 7+9=52

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how many cucumbers dos it take to change a light bulb? none. cucumbers cant change light bulbs. dumbass.

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You the same as before? I am being a bit overly cautious I admit that, I would call you, the problem is that while you are either pretty good at pretending to be innocent and all, or actually pretty down to earth, I mean I would probably applaud you for tricking me into believing you are pretty sweet before, but I got my wife and her family to take care off now, its not quite the same getting stabbed in the back anymore,

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My brownie is so warm and squishy. You know what else is warm and squishy? Freshly killed babyies

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What's worse than cutting yourself? Deadly tornadeos.

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What's the difference between a chicken and a bartender? A chicken is a domesticated fowl, a subspecies of the red junglefowl. As one of the most common and widespread domestic animals, with a population of more than 24 billion in 2003, there are more chickens in the world than any other species of bird. Humans keep chickens primarily as a source of food, consuming both their meat and their eggs. A bartender is a person who mixes and serves alcoholic drinks at a bar. also bar-tender ; 1836, American English,

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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Eating a bagel, the man was overcome with disappointment, he thought that he had purchased a donut. He later hung himself.

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If the Earth is square, why are trees smart? because you touch yourself at night

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When he was a little boy, what was Chaz Bono's favorite Cher song? Chaz Bono was never a little boy, he was a girl.

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Q: Why is it so that antijokes often give you a funny answer? A:.... *hayroll* *crickets* Moral: Im the MoranautBitch!

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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If u swipe fast u will see fish swimming -////--/// //-///--// --//--/// ---/////- -/////--/ ////---// ---///--- ---////-- --////--- //--///-// -//----/// -/-///-/// -/-/-/-/-/ -////-///// -/-/-/-/// -///------ ---------- --///-///-/ -////-//--- -/-/--/--- -/-/-////// ---------- --------- I will call ur doctor to tell him u are retarded

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Why didn't the little boy have arms or legs? Because they were savagely ripped off of him by a black bear on a very unfortunate camping trip.

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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Why was the boy sleeping on the curb? he wasn't actually sleeping, he actualy just got hit by a car and had already died.

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A christian, a Muslim, and a Jew walked into a bar... Then the Muslim shoots the Jew and blows himself up.

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What was Hellen Kellers biggest mistake? Knock knock jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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