Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house No Neither has he.

A man walks into a bar... And orders a glass of beer to cool himself off after a long day at the quarry.

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari. There isn't a Ferrari in my garage.

Two muffins are cooking in the oven, they say nothing to one another as muffins can't talk

How many pupils does the teacher have? 2.

Q: Where do zombies shop? A: Zombercrombie.

A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

why was the apple on the ground? because it fell

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer left the gait open.

What did the black guy do with his gun? Shoot a deer

why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 was a pussy.

I'vegto a riddel for you;l Do siolve it. during the day... I look liek a snake By night?///////////////// What ams i? Rack your brains

why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

A man walks into a bar. And has a beer.

A special needs student walks into a girls change room, and is then escorted out unaware that what he did was socially unacceptable.

It was the week of the school formal and a girl rang up her date and said I don't have a dress for the formal. He said ok the lets go out and buy one. So they went to the dress shop to buy one but the line was really, really long so they waited in the dress line for ages and ages until they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. As they did, the girl said well I suppose you need a suit, so they went to the suit shop, and again, the suit line was really long but they waited in the suit line and they finally got to the front, paid and walked out. Then the guy said, well if we want to go to the formal in style, then we will need a limo. So they went to the limo shop but the limo line was really long as well. But again, they waited in the limo line and they got to the front, paid and left. It was finally the night of the formal, she had her dress, he had his suit and they arrived in their limo. Everyone was having a great time and the the girl said to her partner, I'm a bit thirsty could you please get me a drink? So the guy went over to the drinks table and went to get a glass of punch but there was no punch line.

What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

Question :how many does an episode of Power Rangers show the power rangers face answer I'm not that big with power rangers.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

A man, a woman, and a kid are sitting at a table. They are eating dinner, the kid turns to the man and proceeds to explain how he wishes to drop out of school. The man sends him to his room as punishment. The man and the woman resume eating their dinner.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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