A dog walks into a bar, the bartender quickly says to its owner that he must leave as dogs are not allowed in. Upon realizing that it is a seeing eye dog, the bartender retracts his statement and serves the owner a drink.

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whats worse than having a gay friend ? 9/11

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A man walks into a bar and sees a large jar filled to the brim with $20 bills. He asks the bartender why there is so much money in the jar, and the bartender tells him that he has a horse in the back of the building, and he has a bet that if someone puts $20 in the jar and can make the horse laugh, then they will win all the money. The man, feeling confident, puts his money into the jar and tries to make the horse laugh. It is a horse, so of course he cannot make it laugh. He leaves, dejectedly, having just wasted 20 of his hard earned dollers.

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A guy walks into a restaurant. "What would you like?" says the waiter. "A glass of orange juice," replies the man.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men jump out, and the plane crashes anyway.

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Why did Steven Hawkins die? he got a virus

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Why did Dom stop smoking? Because he died

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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What's the difference between a mexican and a park bench? One is a minority whose ancestors originally lived in the central american country of Mexico, the other is a useful convenience that provides a place to rest one's legs in a public place.

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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Why did the elephant not do 9/11? Because he drank a hispanic turtle.

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Shea's sty....

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I went to work Got paid, Then came home.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? Hold his family at gun point

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A seal walks into a club.

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because kids are goats.

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belly button

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a bomb that explodes in 3 seconds inside your apple.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

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How many elephants can you fit in a mini? None. There are no affordable cars large enough to fit a fully grown elephant.

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i am blue you are red ive got a face look at it look at it i say

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? That is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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