Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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Hickory dickory dock. Two mice ran up the clock. The clock struck one; The other escaped with minor injuries.

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A Jew, A black, and a Hispanic jump off a building. Who hits the ground first? Who cares.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some men like Cheese, I have aids.

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Queens Park rangers

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Bitch

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

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what did the church group do at their picnic? drink the kool aid

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what did the orange say to the other orange? we are both oranges.

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What's funnier A Ginger or a fat kid A fat ass ginger

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Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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Camon is to Jerry Sandusky as Cole Ryder is to Will Higgins!

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why did the boy get hit by a bus because he had ice cream.

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Q: What happened to the monkey when he jumped off the tree. A: He died Q: Why did the second monkey jump off of the tree A: He was attatched to the first monkey Q: Why did the third monkey jump off the tree A: Peer Pressure

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glasses, jacket, shirt They call me glasses, jacket, shirt man. I never leave the house...without my brodies. hehehe hahaha hohoho!

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today at school... I learned about all the core subject plus the additional electives.

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What did the horse get for Christmas? Starvation and neglect because its owner has been dead for three months of old age and he was a raging, angry, achoholic so no one cared if hey was dead and/or bothered to see if he was alive

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Why did the black guy seem so black next to a white guy? Because he had more melanin in his skin

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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