I used to work at a chemical plant manufacturing hydrochloric acid. I couldn't handle it. One day a container exploded and I got severe chemical burns on my face. The scarring is awful. It has ruined my life.

Roses are red. Violets are blue.

Sometimes I wonder; why is that frisbee getting closer? Then it hits me. Someone just threw a frisbee at me.

What do you call a naked couple? Horny.

How are humans like slinkies? - They are not good for very much and bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs!

Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms.. Q: Why didn't she have any arms? A: 50. Cal... Q: Wait where'd she go? A: I don't know there's a helicopter in my scop- wait what the f**k is going on?.... TO: CoD 4 Players -Ap

A teenager decides to stay home instead of go to college. His parents are fine with his choice since he is mentally ill.

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

Roses are black Violets are Black I'm Hellen Keller

Yeah sure comment below, and soylent green is fucking people! Moral: "You are judging the spitting image of yourself, except that you are doomed to remain ignorant and judgmental"

How do you kill Chuck Norris. Shoot him in the face

What do you call a guitar with only one string? A guitar.

Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

How do you get a priest to cry? Stab him.

A man walks into a bar, but it was a gay bar, and the man was a homosexual so he stayed and had fun then later that night he went home to his girlfriend

Whats the difference between a black man and a bucket of shit? The bucket.

who is awesome? no one...

Yo mamma so fat We are all seriously concerned for her health

penis haha

Person 1: Knock Knock Person 2: Why did you just verbalize the onomatopoeic sound of knocking on my door rather than taking the action itself?

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

Your mother is so fat that her BMI is larger than average.

women's rights

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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