What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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A black guy and a white guy are in a fight, who wins The white guy because they were in a fight over when the black guy was going to die.

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An Arab walks into a bar. He doesn't explode, and has a fun time with his friends.

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Homo say what?

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teacher: what do you call a math book with no writing in it?! student: idk what? teacher: a notebook! student: ok... thanks

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What's green, has 4 legs and can kill you if lands on your head? a pool table.

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Q: What did the architect say after he tripped? A: My mother died of cancer when I was 6.

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What did the Wife say to her husband about his Erectile Dysfunction? - Im sorry I dont know how to finish a joke based on this private a matter.

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Your mom is so fat, that when she went to the doctor, the doctor told her she had Type II Diabetes.

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One man says to another "Hey you have banana in your ears." The other man replies "I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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Why didn't the Baby wake up? Because it was dead

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

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Rose: Mummy, why did you name me Rose? Mother: Because a rose fell on your head when you were a baby Daisy: Mummy, why did you name me Daisy? Mother: Because a daisy fell on you when you were a baby Fridge: durr hurr Mother: Shut up, Fridge

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What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

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What's the deal with airplane food? Why don't they serve it as a complimentary part of the flight anymore?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, i got 5 Fingers, the middle ones for you ?

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What did the lamp say to the pencil? Nothing. Lamps and pencils are inanimate objects and are also non sentient so therefore are incapable of talking or listening or having any emotions.

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Knock Knock. -Who's there ? It's me. -Come in.

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Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

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How do you get a one armed Pollack out of a tree? Hold his family at gunpoint.

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This is an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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