Why did jimmy cross the road? Because that was the direction the cannon was pointing.

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Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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An elderly man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Dad!" The old man replies, "Hi son. I'll have a Bud Light." The bartender serves his dad a Bud Light and says, "I'm thinking about going back to school to become a doctor." The old man says, "I'm an alcoholic." The bartender replies, "Great, another Bud Light coming up!"

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Q )Why did the black man shoot the white man? A )The black man had been walking home from his weekly gospel service at the local church when suddenly the criminal had stopped him in his tracks. In a desperate attempt to save himself he seized the gun from the white man and shot him in the leg in order to defend himself. He survived.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? The holocaust What's worse than the holocaust? Two worms in you apple what worse than 2 worms in your apple? Two holocausts

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Come on children, don't dawdle.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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When life throws you lemons, duck.

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Carrot fingers

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W. If I was one thing other then a person why would I be? M. The sun. W. Aww, so I brighten your day? M. No, you're just hard to look at.

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Your face

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It is true that Trump will make America great again.

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Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

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Did you hear about the boy with the treehouse? He caught his mom cheating on his dad in there.

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what do you call a black women that got an abortion a crime stopper

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What is black and white, and red all over? A mutilated penguin.

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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Two friends were running late for their school gathering. As they arrived the train station, one friend said 'Quick, we need to catch the train!' The other replied, 'Can't we just get in it?'

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Q. Why did Justin Beiber fall off the ladder? A. He was trying to reach puberty

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destiny

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What do you call a girl who disappears on the 3 May 2007? Madeleine McCann

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Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

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Roses are black, Violets are black Everything is black I can't see

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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