I like my kids how i like my coffee I dont like coffee

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man with a peg leg? Disabled

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do a helicopter and a banana have in common? They are both edible. Except for the helicopter.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A blonde walks into a bar a uses the restroom. She needed to pee.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

There was once a really smart Hufflepuff.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock Who's there? Not you

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Where did Ben go after being hit by a high speed train? Underneath the train's wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Your mom is so fat, that last night after reading and edition of Cosmo, she skipped dinner and cried herself to sleep due to her inability to live up to such an unrealistic feminine stereotype.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Oi Tom" "What Tom?" "What did Tom say to Tom?" He was talking to himself Such a bad anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down +10

PENIS :)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Some people devote their to talking in their head. Jesus christ.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Listen pretty lady, NO WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING FOR LIKE SIXTEEN HOURS OR SOMETHING NON STOP STRAIGHT, IS VERBOTEN! Honestly, for me its a bit of a requirement, sure girls can go all like "But you are like friendzoned to me now", but then I... Hmm, you know, not a womanizer,my wife has the right word for it, I am a seducer.... Suddenly I do not like the sound of that, actually Its not a bit of a requirement, it is TOTALLY a requirement. Say, does it bother you when I mention my wife like at randomness?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many black people did it take to change the light bulb? I couldn't tell, the lights were out.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

whoever said we're all soft on the inside was probably not an experienced doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Caner.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Women, "Did just pinch my ass!?" Man, "Yes." Women, "Oh, alright then."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when your first name is Newton? You get nicknamed NEWT

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A cat walks by a chineese buffet, the owner kindly puts food and water outside the door so it doesnt die

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"Really, how is your wife?" "You know she's dead right?" "Cool mine too!" They high five in mid air and lived happily ever after

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the gay guy sad?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops