Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did he African say when he had diarrhea? Shit

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Fifteen out of twenty therapists is great, but five are left out.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Your mom is so stupid that she didn't get into college due to her low act score of 16. She feels the need to improve so she asked me to tutor her.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

yo mamma is so fat when people look at her they say "you're fat"

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was Jimmy upset? There is a frog taped to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

thumb_up thumb_down +12

your skull would make a nice pen holder

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

thumb_up thumb_down +12

roses are red violets are blue we're having sex cause i'm stronger than you

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what is meaningless and not fun at all? that joke

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What do you call a black guy that flies a plane? A: A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend "I know. You need to quit gnawing when you're giving me a blow job."

thumb_up thumb_down +12

The banana, the raspberry and the pear arrived to the party, then the carrot and the tomato arrived as well, but when the apple and the orange arrived the banana left... ...This where just getting to fruity...

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's black and can't speak? A garbage can.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Q: What did the Rapist say to the Little girl before they got in to the Van? A: Get In the Van

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with abnormal sized genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops