roses are red violets are too im bleeding

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

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Why did the boy drop his iceccream?? He got hit by a bus??

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A man was running from drug dealers When they had him cornered he ran towards the sun and died

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A black man sits down to have a legal conversation with his state appointed attorney for the first time being arrested. They lawyer advises him to tell him the truth of exactly what happened. He proceeds to do so and is provided with excellent legal advice.

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Penis

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Jews

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What's red and the size of a packet of crisps? A Miscarriage

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? .....Neither have they.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

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why didnt Timmy get anything for Christmas?His mom told santa he was very naughty that year

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Black guys shoot. White guys have small penises. Black guys steal. White guys have keep money. Black guys are broke. That's what she said.

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what happened when a chicken laid an egg? it died

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If life throws you lemons, throw them back and ask for some water because lemonade only makes you thirstier due to the large amounts of sugar used.

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Why didn't the door open? Because it was locked

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Why do girls like nikki minaj? Because she raps good. -Avery Vartanian

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

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Hellen Keller walks into a bar. Well, at least she thinks she did.

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If chuck noris has five dollars and you have five dollars, he has more money than you. He forgot about the extra dollar in his back pocket

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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