Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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What did the frog order at McDonalds? Nothing, it's a frog.

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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There once were 2 cowboys who were lost on a dusty trail. Later on they found their way out and are now doing very successful

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What did the man and woman do in bed together? Sleep.

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Whats worse than a joke? This

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Shit... Shit who? Wrong house... Do I know you Shitt Ronghouse? Yes. Please come in. Okay.

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Kid 1: Hey, guess what? Kid 2: Your MOM! HAHA! Kid 1:... My mother died two months ago from brain cancer after being shot in the head while fighting for our country in Iraq... Kid 2:.... um.. Your mom...?

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Why do turtles walk slow? They are physically incapable of walking fast.

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A. Do you know the best part about Anti Jokes? B. No

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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Warning: Are you 16 and curious and stuff? DO NOT SNIFF YOUR SISTERS HEAVILY PERFUMED PANTIES! Because you know hormones, and then 18 years later she uses the same perfume and... Yeeah.. ITS HORMONES! DON'T PRETEND YOU NEVER SMELLED A PUSS... Well, nevermind guys, I believe you :)) PS: By DO NOT, I mean DO! I mean just make sure you dont get your mothers panties, your sister is gonna be like "Omg you are such a perv you and your dick always up my face!" Then you can go all like "yeeeaah you wish!" Moms panties? Seriously man, that is just sick! You need to get some self respect!

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the food source on its original side was running low, thus forcing the chicken to find other food options.

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What do you call two black men and a hispanic man in the back of a car? The punchline of this joke is offensive, and might bring legal troubles to Anti-Joke.Com and it's subsidiaries. For these reasons, Anti-Joke.Com will not allow it to be shown.

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I was jaywalking when it hit me. You know, a car.

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Jimmy said he would never beat his wife, so why did he do it anyway? Because he was a hypocrite.

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Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A bug in your nut.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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What is bloody and has two legs? Half of a cat.

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whats small and blue? a suffocated baby

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What ended my last relationship? Oncoming traffic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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