two muffins are in a oven the one muffin says jee its hot in here and the other muffin says wow a talking muffin

A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

One day, a bear happoned across a man and said "How do you do today good sir?" but the man ran away screaming "OH CRAP, BEARS!!!!" because it just sounded like bear growling (which i would love to dedicate to my friend Chris Bradley, just to make the ball to stick ratio too high)

Cancer

7

What is red and smells like blue paint? Read paint.

Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

Knock Knock. Did someone outside the front door just say "Knock Knock"?

Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

Where did the Jew put his money? In a low rist, interest bearing mutual fund.

What do you call a drunk, blind, deaf monkey driving a car? A bloody good driver!

What happened to the boy after he ate a piece of Halloween candy? He died. It was laced with cyanide.

A man walks into a bar, and spends all his money because he is an alchoholic.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

An american took a vacation to Mexico.... the American police were contacted 3 days later... the American was supposedly killed during a drug trade...

a blonde girl walks into a bar...of soarp, slips, falls, and breaks her spine.

Why did peter shake the baby? To kill it and rape its dead corpse

And so he penguin said, The is my most casual outfit!" HAAAW

A black guy stands outside the Tigers stadium with a cigar and tries to sell tickets... noone buys them... I have a comlplete raging boner and I'm gonna go beat off!

why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

How do you confuse a terrorist? Speak another language other than Arabic

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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