What did the unicorn say to the horse? I have a horn and you don't.

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A man walks into a bar carrying a piece of asphalt under his arm. The bartender says, "We don't serve construction workers here."

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Testicles.

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Why Did The Black Guy Eat Watermelon? Because he lives in south africa where they are commonly grown and needed a healthy snack.

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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What do you call an Arabic man flying a plane? A Pilot.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks for a beer. One of the bar tenders twlls him they are all out. He takes out his gun. He has 1 bullet and there are 3 bar tenders. He wants to kill them all. What does he do? A: Shoots 1 and pegs bricks at the other two.

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Whats worse than 1 bee sting... 2 bee stings Whats worse than 2 bee stings... The hollacaust Whats worse than the hollacaust... 3 BEE STINGS!!!

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the hospital? A: The victim of a violent mob attack

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Why was the little boy crying? He had a frog stapled to his forehead. Why did the little boy have a frog stapled to his forehead? Because Johnny just can't drive. Why can't Johnny drive? He has no arms and legs. Why does Johnny have no arms and legs? Cause Johnny is a potato! Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? Because he got ran over by a bus. But who was driving the bus? Johnny the potato!

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What's the difference between a tomato and a rhinoceros? Neither of them can ride a bicycle.

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i want to meet Dora's parents and ask them why they let that bitch go everywhere

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How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

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A deaf man walks into a bar. A few minutes later, cops come in and takes the poor man into the cop car and takes him downtown to the precinct for booking. Meanwhile, back in the bar the deaf man drinks his beer and converses with the bartender in sign language.

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What do you call Eric Torres A furnace magnet

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Yo mamma's so fat, she's self-concsious about her weight and is embarassed when people make fun of her weight which makes her escape to her only friend, food, which makes her even fatter, so she will never lose weight until society accepts her and is not so prejudice towards overweight people.

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a black and a mexican are walking down the street, two cops look up to see this and immediately say "shit, this can't be good".

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....ZZzzzzz.....ZZzzzzz.....

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A white man walking dpwn the street finds a brief-case with a timer on it. A young muslim man says he dropped it. The white man then asked "What's the timer for"? The young man said, "Nothing really, just helps keep the time." They both went their separate ways.

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will have her institutionalized as soon as they find her.

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What is the similarity between Moses and Muhammad? They both have the same letter starting their names

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What is the difference between finding a dead black man on the street or a dead dog? There are tire marks in front of the dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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