Roused are red violets are blue I just s*** in my own poo

whats white, blue, and red all over? a white guy in the ghetto

Why doesn't Michael Jackson like toast? Because he's dead.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken crossed the road accidentaly as chickens are absent minded.

What's worse then forced to eat frog legs? Xbox one

A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

What's black and red all over? Half a cat

Why did the chicken cross the road? A man held him at gunpoint and threatened to kill his entire family.

What did the booger say the other booger? "Is he picking on you again"

Why did the chicken cross the road? The parking lot was across the street from KFC.

How do you keep black people from hanging around in your front yard? Hang them in the back..

How will Jesse die? His mom doesnt have any food left (or money) so she eats him, and then jesse's fat little brother farts on his obese corpse

How many spiders dose it take to cover a wall? Four, if they are 7 feet tall

"stupid creationist" Perfect example of redundance.

Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

What's the resemblance between a chicken? Its legs are approximately equal, especially the left one.

So I was sitting in the doctor's when I noticed a guy sitting about two seats down, wearing a sombrero and pouring salt over himself. Then I found out I had cancer and promptly lost all interest in him.

Fine, just remember that I want to help you, but you cannot ask me for help, and then throw a shitstorm of accusations at me, I have never worked for the feds and never will, I know nothing about their code of operations nor... Anything really. Let me give you an advice, I know that at least two people you trusted deeply betrayed you, but if you are not going to trust anyone again, then leave point zero while you still can do so alive. And no babe, this is not a threat, its advice.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? A pig rolls in the mud.

HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

What's worse than an explosion? A nuclear explosion.

Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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