How many jews can fit into a car? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, 6 million in the ash tray

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Why did Jesus cross the road? He didn't. He's dead.

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Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I picked them in the meadow this morning

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Why was the squirrel late for work? Because the traffic was nuts!

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Yo mama so fat, that when she wore a blue swimsuit to the beach and swam, the Blue Whales started sing, "WE ARE FAAMILY...EVEN THOUGH UR BUGGER THAN ME!!!"

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What makes a good jack-o-lantern? A pumpkin

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Hard work and dedication.

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Q: What happened when Johnny cheated on his test? A: He got a higher score

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a pig ate a hobo, the hobo was a blind rapist from canada

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Where did Sheyanne go during the bombing...... Everywhere

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Knock knock Who's there? Be Be who? Be yourself

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What's purple and in my hand? Nothing i was lying about the purple

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What happens when you click a link on a web page offering sex? You get a virus.

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Kefka > Sephiroth

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I am not Moral Man. Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

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How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

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Q:how man ADD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: I dont know, wanna go ride bikes?

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if dave has 50 candy bars and eats 45 what does he have? diabeties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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