Two men walk into a bar. They get drunk.

Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

Knock knock Who's there My BUTTCRACK

What didnt rebecca black do today ride the bus

Why didn't the Priest have a TV ? A black man stole it

How many light bulbs does it take to screw a blonde? She said she can do 3

A man throws a penny off of a cliff. He is now one cent poorer

when chuck norris plays call of duty, his only perk is ghost pro.

wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

What do you call the guy who made this page. Answer: A sucker mouth bitch.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

One day a man named Tyler put a picture of an Asian in his wallet and proceeded to call himself Asian even though he was of Caucasian. Then a theif pick pocketed his wallet and was confused.

Hello, nice to meet you.

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

I'd feel bad for some skinny guy who lived in a very obese family and only got hand me downs.

What came first -- the chicken or the egg roll?

What's the difference between a plumber and a husband? Both fuck the same women when the other is away.

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir......my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

Q:What happened when Smokey the Bear was the one who started the forest fire? A: He got arrested just like you would have

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the other side . Unfortunately , there was a car accident and shrapnel from the explosion [caused by gas on fire] cut his head off causing the old woman to faint , and later die a horrible death .

Q: what did the man say to the woman when he wanted her to leave? A: please leave

A pink bird and a pink elephant was out flying. Then something happened.

obama

Kevin Spacey is Kaiser Solze

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...