Spongebob: Patrick! Can you hear me? Patrick: No, it's too dark.

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roses are blood violets are veins vampires are crazy and you are insane

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Three aliens land in the middle of New York City. There is a huge media story about the first extraterrestrial life to be discovered on Earth.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and suffered from a self-inflicted gunshot wound in his head, he is being treated by medical professionals

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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If life gives you lemons, get some seeds from them and plant them. Then in a few years you'll have a lemon tree. Then take some lemons off that tree and throw them at people saying "Here's your stupid lemons, people".

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What is blue and angry? Mr Johnston wearing his green dress. I'm colour blind but he came round to my way of thinking in the end.

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<3 ... it looks more like scissors than a heart...

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One cold winter day in Russia, a man asked a tree if he was cold. The tree did not reply, and the man became depressed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Cook Pu. Ok then. Kelvin Yang.

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how do you get a black guy out of a tree? ask himnicely and if he doesn't promptly call the fire department

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1 friend request facebook: ignore. Nuff said

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What's Jewish and gay? Henry Shine

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How many dead babes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? its not possible because there all dead

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Knock Knock Who's There? Dave I don't know a Dave, Please leave.

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Why are rich guys gay? They can afford to be

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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- Knock knock - Excuse me, I don't have time, my house is on fire ! - We're the firemen.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin turns to the second muffin and says "OH MY GOD I CAN TALK!" the second muffin is so shaken in its beliefe system by a talking muffin that it commits suicide.

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Got tired of McDonalds Jim?

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Kevin was very nervous going into his job interview. So he pretended he was a salad and ate himself.

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Why did the little boy get food poisoning? Because his family can't afford to buy organic food, and can only afford McDonald's burgers, where their cows are forced to stand in their own feces.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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