What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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Whats worse than a little kid falling. Him getting vigorously raped by his father every night.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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What's the difference between your cat and mine? Yours has legs.

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Little Johnny was always bullied at school. Everyday he would get picked on by the same kid, Todd. Todd was a red-headed bully with no discipline. Johnny one day went home and started crying. His father asked the little boy, "Jonny why are you crying?" John replied, "I keep getting bullied". His father stood up and told him, "You must become a big man and step up to him and tell him how you feel. It will surprise him and he will then back off. It always works." Johnny then felt inspired. Later that night he started practicing what he will say in the mirror. By the next morning he felt like he was ready. Johnny was confident about himself for once. He walked up to Todd and told him, "I'm tired of your bullying and next time you will regret it!!". Todd looked surprised and had his jaw opened. Todd then said, "I'm sorry Johnny I didn't know you felt that way." Johnny looked confused. "Here come with me and I'll buy us ice cream". When they went to go get ice cream, Todd brutally stabbed Johnny until he was losing blood and repeatedly raped his dead body.

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Why did the fat guy survive the plain crash He didn't he died like everyone else

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Is the capitol of Michigan pronounced DEE-troit or de-TROIT? It's pronounced Lansing.

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Why couldn't the Canadian taste the maple syrup? Because someone cut off his tongue. -BLLJ

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What happens when you throw a green stone into the red sea? It gets wet.

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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How do you stop a black kid from bouncing on the bed? Put Velcro on the cealing.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

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Yo mamas so fat.

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Your mother is so bad at cooking that people often remark on how bad at cooking she is.

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Why did the dog cross the road? He saw a fish.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Shit I'm bleeding.

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So two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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What's worse than waking up with cancer? Waking up dead.

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I see said the blind man to his def wife as the dog with no legs ran over

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Hillary Clinton

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Guy 1: (to guy 2) Close your eyes, stand on one leg, spin around, and yell "I have never eaten a cucumber!". Guy 2: No. Guy 1: Ok.

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Ever had sex while camping? It's great.

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;aosughdfo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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