How can you tell if your goldfish is male or female? Put some fishfood in the bowl, if he swims to the food it's a male, if she swims to the food it's a female.

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Why did Shakespeare die? It's called life.

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Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

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How do you make a mother at the playground cry? You steal her 3 year old daughter

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How do you survive a snow storm? Kill yourself

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your moms my other ride

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Why did the pervert cross the road? His dick was stuck in the chicken

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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Chuck Norris once walked into a strip club, and had quite a nice time indeed!

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Whats the difference between a black baby and a white baby? the black baby is black

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What did pinocchio want to become? Hepatitus free.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, it was kind of by chance that it crossed the road and what is the big deal lots of animals cross the road. For example possums, squirrels, deer, raccoons, cats, dogs, rabbits do pretty often too it's weird because sometimes more rabbits cross the road on Easter I don't know if that's just me though, chipmunks, bears, over in Africa probably tigers and lions cross those roads.

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Why can't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally's a fish.

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press a,s,d,f,g,h,j,k,l feel like a pianist

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms

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why did the man jump off the building? to commit suicide.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Whats the worst part of your school burning down? A: The burnt pizza.

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YOU

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What do you call the twin towers? An airport

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a little violence in a relationship doesn't hurt anybody

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What is the difference between a car and dead babies? The car is legally obtainable by law and can run on gasoline, when dead babies are nonliving humans, and the owner of which would most likely be sent to jail.

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you just contradicted yourself.

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this is not an anti joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops