what happens when you punt a baby in between 2 poles? you get 3 points

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Your momma's so stupid that as a child she was often afraid to show her report card to her parents, for fear of their disapproval.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender.

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Police say's 'have you been drinking' and you reply back saying 'YES' then the police brings out the blower and you blow, it says on it that you are fine, but then the cops ask you 'what did you drink' and you just say 'well i drank juice for breakfast then had some water, tea, coffee' the cops get really angry but before he says anything you say that ' I AM MUSLIM'

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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SIMPLE EQUATION: John has 32 chocolate bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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what happened to the 4 year old girl who got stuck in the freezer? She froze.

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Do you know what a third world bathroom smells like? Crap

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if two couples walk down the street, when do they die? when a pack of rabid dogs eats them.

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Knock knock. Come in.

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Nevermind, that was a stupid question.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? No soap, radio!

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whats black and blue and red all over? my wife shhh!

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Why is the guy fat? Because he eats too much.

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Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Yo mama is so depressing. That is so sad.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I wouldn't consider Mark a chicken. In fact, given the high speed and volume of cars traversing that particular road in both directions, I'd say it was a ballsy move. In hindsight, though, he probably should have waited for the "walk" symbol to appear for pedestrians, in order to avoid being run over by a bus. Anyway, if Pastor John would like to say a few words before we finally put Mark's body to rest...

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Horton Hears... Rape and violence and doesn't do anything about it.

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What's the best way to look 10 pounds thinner? Lose 10 pounds

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because her dad through a fridge at her

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What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, oceans and beaches are both not alive, thus incapable of speech and feeling emotions

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops